Friggen hell its kinda cold today-

Okay i dont know why im posting a journal cuz my life is way too boring to post-but hell whatever.
Went out to clubs last night with the klowers-then with other friends and met some guys from places...well joburg and CT
The one guy was really sweet and everyone kept saying we look so much alike-we have never met but talked non stop.This got me thinking on the way-is it possible to meet somone and know them all your life?Sound so super gay i know.Dont want to be all dramatic but what if this guy is like my romance-from a diffrent place,time,whatever-if this all makes sence?!

They are leaving tomorow and we never even said goodbye or exchanged numbers.It was funni when he said that it feels like such a rush when you meet sumone new...
I have no idea if i'll ever see them again-wich is kinda sad cuz they are really great ppl.Its not like oh great i met guys i can score with cuz they dont know me typa thing...its really awesome-Feel like screaming cuz i mite have met sumone great-not nessesarily romanticly...but just amazing that we,think,look,do,act ect ect the same.He says he think we might have joined their table cuz of subconsience familiarities...hahahaha
random.

Okay im done rambling now-gonna go play darts wtht he possie
mwah

i carry your heart with me


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I should have paid her I think I would have felt better. I knew the guilt would sink in and I had to make it abandon me before I do something stupid with this pistol. I cannot explain how empty I feel today. It might be the night time lights and colors that draw you to confess your pleasures to worn out lovers. Take my wallet-it’s all yours.
In fact I am serving my dignity on the house. You can have my life if I can have yours for a few hours. I seem to be the cause for my own troubles these days. A beautiful type of laughter soak up the gasps and I kill the karma there and then. Dear friend we violated our friendship. Vodka filled tears drip from our transparent happiness . I am so tired. So sick on the inside. A hole a huge hole. I am not asking for much just love in the end. I smell of rum I smell of fear I smell...really bad. The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact is to realize two out of three aint bad. Somebody to fix me and my crooked ways of thinking and rationalizing. I don’t know how to get out anymore I have been walking through the streets so long I know it like the souls of my feet. My palms are raw with expectations for real loving touches. Because last years wishes are this years apologies. The words get to me. The new face of failure. Not any better off though. Loneliness at best...
18 at best…

What the hell does that mean-I dont really now myself.Im sitting at school waiting for life to take some kind of turn for the best.Resently had a fall out with a great friend and love of mine.So..thats just dandy

So...yeah i dont know why im posting a journal then i just like rambling...
Good weekend to all my bushclovers...be good and please dont kill andy bunnies...

Laf me laf me...say that u laf me...mwah kiddos
cheers

Dam my friends the sunshine was never really gone...*

Someone asked me this the other day i found it intresting how i never notice when the sun is out anymore.Yes this seems so friggen lame i know.But to put it all in perspective we really sometimes dont notice things that are important(not that the sun is THAT important)
But life friends and family and love and life ect...things that matter.

My friends and I recently had a heart to heart in a cold classroom.We live past eachother partly because we sometimes choose to.There are things we will never tell and some we cant wait to get off our chests.Next year its college and the wind is blowing us all in diffrent directions...soon we'll have to cope with ourselves more than other's company.Maybe its just me that doesnt like change or the sudden diffrence im seeing.But it really scares me to friggen death!

I want to make a clean break but i dont want to lose ppl who made a good positive change in me and in impact on my life-big ups to my buds that will always be there!!!4sho

mwah...